


fuck christmas tradition, it’s raining baseballs

by jintimacy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Getting Together, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Time Skip, i am clowning on tsukishima kei because i love him, i wanted this to be something cute and christmasy but it ended up sort of being neither, so feel free to read this in the middle of july
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28325493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jintimacy/pseuds/jintimacy
Summary: Christmas tradition insists that they go out and meander through the streets of twinkling lights and speakers blaring Last Christmas to indulge themselves with a greasy bucket of KFC, but Christmas tradition does not account for the absolute metric ton of freezing rain that has decided that now is the perfect time to make its grand, flashy entrance, so Kei decides to fuck Christmas tradition up the ass and stay at home.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 27
Kudos: 102





	fuck christmas tradition, it’s raining baseballs

Christmas tradition insists that they go out and meander through the streets of twinkling lights and speakers blaring _Last Christmas_ to indulge themselves with a greasy bucket of KFC, but Christmas tradition does not account for the absolute metric ton of freezing rain that has decided that now is the perfect time to make its grand, flashy entrance, so Kei decides to fuck Christmas tradition up the ass and stay at home. 

“It’s raining _baseballs_ ,” Kei says when Yamaguchi calls him. “One hit to the head and you won’t have any more Christmases to celebrate.”

So Yamaguchi, because he is a stubborn asshole, drags Hinata over from Osaka and Kageyama over from Tokyo and Yachi over from two blocks down the street all the way to Kei’s apartment. 

“I brought sake!” Hinata says. 

“I brought kahlua!” Yamaguchi says. 

“I brought snacks!” Yachi says. 

“I brought groceries,” Kageyama says. 

“What the hell,” Kei replies. “I have groceries.”

“Yamaguchi said you didn’t.”

“ _Yamaguchi_ —”

“I’ll cook. I can make dinner.”

Kei’s entire world shifts about two degrees to the left. Not enough to knock him off his feet, but enough to rattle him like a cheap pair of maracas. He has to reconcile with the fact that Kageyama is actually a well-adjusted adult who is capable of doing well-adjusted adult things. 

“You can cook?” Kei repeats dumbly. 

“Well, yeah,” Kageyama says, like it’s obvious. (It’s not.) “I’m an athlete. I have to eat well.”

“Okay,” Kei says, still reeling. “Don’t make a mess out of my kitchen.”

Kageyama does not make a mess out of his kitchen. In fact, he’s surprisingly neat about the whole thing. 

“I’m hungry,” Kei complains about twenty five minutes into the cooking process. He’s not hungry. He’s just being difficult. Kageyama is facing the stove, stirring meticulously. “When will the food be done?”

Kageyama looks over his shoulder and squints. It’s one of those squints that’s more exasperated than irritated. Kei smiles, all snarky-like, and _bam_! There it is, that irritated squint. He smiles even wider. 

But then Kageyama’s face smooths out and he opens Kei’s fridge and offers him a pouch of his own blueberry yogurt that he’d bought a week prior. Kei’s smile drops. He turns around and walks away. 

-

The food is, for lack of a worse term, amazing. Kei thinks it’s amazing the entire time he’s eating it. Yachi and Yamaguchi and Hinata all say it's amazing, thirty six times each. Kei does not say a word. Kageyama goes pink around the ears. 

“That was pretty good,” Kei finally says when Hinata compliments the food for the fifty third time. Kageyama’s mouth opens and closes like he’s a fish gulping water. He makes a sound. He says something. “What was that?” Kei asks. He knows what Kageyama said. But the pink is bleeding from Kageyama’s ears to his neck, and he wants to watch. 

“I said thanks,” Kageyama says. It comes out sounding like a croak. 

“You’re welcome,” Kei says sweetly. The pink turns a splotchy red. “You’re very welcome.”

-

A few rounds of sake later, Yachi comes up with the novel idea to mix kahlua into hot chocolate. It’s not a novel idea. It’s an idea Kei has tried and tested at least forty two times before. But Yachi looks so pleased with herself that Kei can’t find it in himself to tell her this. So he says, “Okay.”

Kei assumes responsibility for making the hot chocolate. First for Yamaguchi, then for Yachi, then for Hinata, then for himself. 

“Why am I last,” Kageyama asks flatly, still in the kitchen with Kei. The other three have snuggled up underneath the kotatsu. 

“Why wouldn’t you be last,” Kei replies, and effectively shuts Kageyama up. 

“This is good!” Yamaguchi exclaims from the kotatsu. 

“It really _is_ good,” Hinata agrees. 

“It’s always good,” Kei says, pouring Kageyama a mug full of hot chocolate. “Get with the program.”

Kageyama sloshes some kahlua into his mug. _Slosh, slosh, slosh,_ it goes. Kei thinks he’s sloshed a little too much in, but he’s got enough problems to worry about already, so he says nothing. 

Kageyama lifts his mug to his mouth. Kei does the same. And then:

“Ah, _fuck_.” Kageyama hisses. “I burnt my tongue.” He frowns. He opens his mouth. He sticks his burnt tongue out. 

Kei snorts kahlua and hot chocolate up his nose. 

-

There’s a little, inconspicuous door in the back of Kei’s mind. There’s a sign on it, a label, but on most days the writing is so small that Kei can barely read it. This door leads to a room, except it’s not a room. It’s a bottomless pit. You fall and fall and fall and never stop falling. 

The thing about alcohol is that it takes your brain and smashes it to pieces. All the walls and rooms and doors you’ve carefully constructed, carefully locked away, tied up neatly and never to be thought of again, turn into scraps of useless wood and metal, and if you’re not careful, one of those scraps can drive it’s way into your chest and splinter your heart. 

The thing about alcohol is that it takes those doors and those labels and points them out. LOOK AT THIS, it says. YOU HAVEN’T THOUGHT ABOUT THIS IN A WHILE. NOW WOULD BE A GREAT TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT. 

(There is never a great time to think about it. That’s why that room has a door in the first place.)

So that door. And that sign, that label, with the too-small writing. It’s screaming. It’s screaming so loud that it makes his ears ring. 

KAGEYAMA TOBIO, it shrieks. KAGEYAMA TOBIO KAGEYAMA TOBIO KAGEYAMA TOBIO.

-

“Tsukki, are you okay?” Yamaguchi calls from the kotatsu. 

Kei coughs so violently he just about hacks his heart out. “Yeah,” he wheezes. “Give me a second.”

Yamaguchi gives him a second. And then a lot more seconds. And finally, the stinging in his face subsides. 

“Do you—” Kageyama’s voice is soft. Fuck, it’s so soft. Kei curses the day Kageyama learned to speak in anything but a bemused monotone. 

“I was going to ask if you wanted something to drink, but—” Kageyama frowns again. “Um. Do you want to eat something instead?”

 _I want to eat your face_ , is an errant thought that streaks through the forefront of his mind. He steadfastly ignores it. 

“Sure.”

-

The thing about alcohol is that Kei should never touch it again, because he opens his mouth and says, “Is your tongue still burnt?”

Kageyama looks at him. “How fast do you think a burn heals?” he asks. He is still looking at him. He is looking at him as if to say he’s an idiot. 

“Oh, I’m an idiot,” Kei says. 

He is an idiot because he might be in love with Kageyama. He’s an idiot because he can’t stop thinking about Kageyama’s burnt tongue. He’s an idiot because he thinks burns can heal within minutes. 

“You are,” Kageyama agrees. He is only thinking about the last point, but Kei thinks that if he knew about the first two points as well, he would wholeheartedly agree with them, too. 

-

Kageyama puts his mug down, flops backwards so he’s laying down on the ground. “Oh, I think—” He lets out a breathless giggle. Kei wants to eat it. He wants to eat that breathless giggle and put it right where his heart is. 

“I put too much kahlua in my hot chocolate,” he finishes. His eyes are shut. His cheeks are pink. His mouth is pink too, and wet. What the hell, why is it so wet. 

Oh god, this was a mistake. Letting Yamaguchi bring everyone over was a mistake. Letting Kageyama cook dinner was a mistake. Letting Kageyama come over and cook dinner and turn Kei’s brain into fuzzy mush was a mistake. 

“You’ll be fine,” Kei says. “Just drink some water.”

“Can you get it for me?” Kageyama asks. His eyes are still closed. His eyes are still closed, and maybe this is why Kei looks at him for one moment too long, stands up, and says _okay_. 

“Huh?” Kageyama’s eyes fly open. “Really?”

“Shut up.” He wobbles over to the kitchen and fills up a cup of water. “Here,” he says when he returns. 

Kageyama sits up and takes the water, and then smiles, killing him instantly. 

Oh god, oh fuck, he loves Kageyama and he hates himself. Are those two statements related? 

(Probably.) 

Who the hell knows. 

(Actually, yes.)

-

Hinata has fallen asleep. Yachi and Yamaguchi have gone back to their apartments. Kageyama and Kei are watching a movie.

Kei settles into the couch because he wants a higher vantage point to look at the TV. Kageyama follows. 

“You don’t have to sit here,” Kei says. “The kotatsu is warmer.”

“I know,” Kageyama replies. “But I want to.”

Kei sighs, leans against the back of the cushions. Kageyama scratches idly at his jaw. Kei tracks the movement of his fingers, the flex of muscles on the back of his hand, the slight sway of his wrist. 

“Your sweater’s falling apart,” Kei says, staring at a thread falling loose from his sleeve. 

Kageyama looks at the thread. “Oh,” he says. “That sucks. I like this sweater.”

“I like it, too,” Kei says before he can stop himself. Then he stops himself, fingers freezing on his lap. 

Kageyama’s ears start pinking again. His mouth pinches into a wobbly line. “Thanks,” he says, all soft. “I like your sweater too.”

Kei laughs. Kageyama’s face looks so pretty pink it’s unfair. “Yeah? Do you? My sweater’s more worn out than yours. Look at the hem.” He holds out the hem. “It’s falling apart worse than your sleeve.”

“Huh. I guess it is.” Kageyama reaches over. His voice is trembling. His fingers are trembling. He’s trembling so hard he might just singlehandedly cause an earthquake. The sight makes Kei’s stomach swoop. 

“But,” Kageyama continues, fingers pinching the fraying fabric of Kei’s sweater. “It still looks nice on you.” He looks up at Kei from underneath his eyelashes. Oh fuck, call an ambulance. Tsukishima Kei is about to have a heart attack. 

Kei has a list of things that theoretically, he would like to do but realistically are utterly impossible to accomplish. In no particular order, this includes but is not limited to:

  * make Sato-san at work start wearing deodorant

  * commit arson
  * confess his years long undying love for Kageyama Tobio
  * fight god



But. There’s a 50% chance that Kageyama is flirting with him. Or something. There is also a 50% chance that he has no fucking clue what he’s doing. There’s another 50% chance that it’s both, at once. 

But then, _but then_ , Kageyama opens his mouth. 

“I think you’re pretty,” he breathes.

Kei blinks. “Oh.”

-

When Kei was younger, he suffered from a severe case of Teenage Angst. This came to be because of a little thing called Childhood Trauma. He tries not to talk about it, because Akiteru pulls an awful face whenever he does and all Kei wants to do is slap it right off. 

He doesn’t, because of a million set of rules written by a billion year old man about a gajillion years ago about how you should always respect your elders no matter how many times they try to fuck your life over. 

Except Akiteru never tried to fuck his life over. Akiteru tried to make him happy. And tried to make himself happy. And failed at both of those things and accidentally fucked both of their lives over. 

They’ve both gotten over the life-fucking-over bit, for the most part. Akiteru still pulls an awful face whenever he’s reminded of it and Kei can’t slap it off so he has to change the topic so fast that it gives both of them whiplash. 

And Kei, well. 

His severe case of Teenage Angst has dwindled into a moderate case of Adult Anxieties. A lot of these anxieties are meaningless, some of which include: 

  * What Should I Get At This New Cafe

  * Why Is The Name Of This Item I Want To Order So Needlessly Long

  * Oh No, What If They Run Out Of This Item That I Want With The Needlessly Long Name
  * What Should I Order Now That They’ve Run Out Of This Item That I Want With The Needlessly Long Name

  * Why Does Everything At This Cafe Have Such A Needlessly Long Name




But others are not so meaningless, such as:

  * Oh No, I Have a Crush on Kageyama Tobio
  * Oh No, Kageyama Tobio is going to Tokyo
  * Oh No, I’m In Love With Kageyama Tobio
  * Oh No, Kageyama Tobio is in Sendai
  * OH NO, KAGEYAMA TOBIO IS IN SENDAI



The problem with Kageyama Tobio being in Sendai is that Kei cannot tell his brain to let go of the fact that he’s in love with him. _He’s right here_ , his brain insists. _Tell him that you’re in love with him_. 

NO, he says back. WHAT IF HE DOESN’T LOVE ME BACK. THEN I’LL HAVE TURNED MYSELF INSIDE OUT FOR NO REASON. THEN I’LL HAVE TO DIE. 

_No, you won’t,_ his brain says. _No, you won’t. Just tell him._

I CAN’T, he says. HE’LL JUST FUCK OFF TO TOKYO AGAIN. HE’LL BE OUT OF REACH AGAIN. 

_But he’s not out of reach_ , his brain says. _He’s right here._

BUT HE WON’T BE. THEN WHAT. 

_Then you’ll make it work_.

But.

BUT, he argues. He’s slipping. He needs a rebuttal. He finds it. 

BUT I’M SCARED. 

The truth. 

I’M SO SCARED. 

_It’ll be okay. He’s not out of reach right now. He’s here. He’s right here._

-

He’s right here. 

“Tsukishima.”

He’s here, right here, and he pulls him _closecloseclose_. 

What happens next— 

You’ve seen movies. You've read books. You know what happens. 

**Author's Note:**

> i started this at 9 pm on december 24th and finished it at 9 pm on december 25th. (in my timezone) in most parts of the world this is probably going up on dec 26th. i only read over this once before publishing so pls ignore any typos or grammar mistakes.  
> i really wanted to make this fun and christmasy but it turned into tsukishima kei freaking out about his feelings. which can also be fun, i guess.  
> if you're reading this at a time that is nowhere near christmas, thank you. i'm glad you're here. please give me kudos and comments and validation. even if you're reading this at a time that is sort of near christmas, give me kudos and comments and validation. i will always love to know what y'all think, even if it's an incoherent keyboard smash.  
> happy holidays and happy new year folks! i hope 2020 wasn't too harsh on you. i hope 2021 will be much better.


End file.
